One of them is my weight. Or even more so, the fact that I need to lose it. TO COMPETE in a figure competition. Not because I am overweight but because stage weight is a whole lotta different than every day normal living weight.
There have been several times in the past that people who were never a follower before (or a brand new one & didn't know my story) on either of my Facebook pages, randomly saw either a pic or a post of mine referring to the fact that I "had work to do" and I was basically attacked. I realize from their standpoint and a person looking in for the first time, that what I said may have come across as a slap in the face to them. For that I apologize. It still was not pleasant or pretty and they accused me of having a myriad of issues instead of taking time to get my story. Geeez, man....I mean "never assume" is how that old saying goes. You know the rest. Oui??
I work with people every single day that have weight issues. I understand where they are coming from if they look at me and my body right now. Yes, I am fit. No I am not overweight. What the actual FACK could I possibly be talking about, right?? But it could have been solved with ONE simple question to me.
Yes, as I progress in my journey to the stage I have been pretty tight lipped. I share my successes with my hubby, my family and my closest friends, period. I just feel less drama is what I need in my life, not MORE!
I digress because I wanted to chat a bit about where I sit right now. This week has been pretty insightful in many aspects of my life, to start. Today I got on the scales as I do now every Sunday because I need to know my weight to tell my trainer. I am down now 10 lbs since starting with John (he rocks, FYI). I have been working with such a great coach and he is not only doing things to help me get to my goals but he is teaching me the WHY involved in getting there, that I just never had before. If you have ever graced my presence you will know I am a questions kind of girl. I need to know shit.
I also, instead of rushing to make the freakin MAGIC happen am trusting the process and am LOVING the process. No magic or wands waved...just hard work, dedication and sweat.
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When I started training earlier on this year I had concocted some kind of fairy tale image in my mind that in several months I should darn well be looking like Andreia Brazier, don't you think? I mean much to my chagrin when I looked in the mirror and HOLY SHIT, there were no abs, a lotta cellulite, and no visible pumpage of muscles or veins popping. Again....what the actual FACK?
Oh did I mention I may occasionally curse like a trucker? Sorry...I am from the East Coast...I was born with it.
Let's carry on shall, we?
I had a reality check. I know it takes now not months but YEARS of training to get muscularity of that level. I was SO impatient, trying to rush my way to competing that I didn't have time to stop and simply take in what was happening to my body (and also what wasn't). My life was also on NOS at that point and I had too much on my plate in every facet of my life. Wow, for being a smart girl, I sure was making some not so smart choices. Apparently I was Wonder Woman...but only in my head.
Today I have never felt more amazing and assured that every step I take is in the right direction. Will I be ready for November 1st? I am not sure. Will I wait if I am NOT ready? Yep...I am not stepping on stage til my body is there. If that means a spring show, then so be it. But I WILL be on that stage. I want it and I am prepared to wait til my body is where is should be.
It only took me 45 years to come to this conclusion.
Shhhhh, don't tell anybody. :-)
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